“Take a look all around you, Dad. YOU’VE GOT IT ALL! Friends, neighbors, food in the cupboard, people who love you and most importantly, ME.
Do you need a hug?”

“WOW! Dad, Your shoes are HUGE! But, I can fit in them just fine while I’m wearing MY shoes
Anybody care to help me walk now?”

“with time and attentiveness, I may have the mental capacity to potty-train even earlier in life than my older siblings did. …YEAH, Good luck with that, Dad.”

“Dad, You realize the only reason I’m fussing about the safety belts today is because, I know you’re in a hurry, don’t you?”

“Subsequently, a word I’m not yet familiar with or, even know where to use in a sentence, will spring forth from my lips making my Dad VERY proud or,
VERY ashamed.”

“Screaming at the top of my lungs would normally be reserved for when Dad’s on the phone or, driving through heavy traffic but, WHAT THE HECK, RIGHT?”

“It’s WAY to quiet around here. I’d better go check on my Dad and, make sure he’s not getting in to anything.”

“Will someone please explain to me, just WHY a sandwich is NOT supposed to go in the VCR? …It fit’s almost perfectly!”

“Ok I’m sorry about that sandwich in the VCR thingy, By the way, the DVD player does NOT heat up pancakes very well.”

“If I hit the dog, Dad will scold me. If I hit the dog hard enough, Dad will scold the dog.
…for you over-thinking adults reading this: (The dog may yelp, bark or, nip at me, causing alarm.)”

“Groceries! …I wonder if they got any more of those waxy things with the cake frosting on them that you can only eat after lighting them on fire and then, blowing them out.”

“SPINACH ? Dad, you’ll never receive an Academy Award for your roll as the guy who likes THIS stuff.”

“It’s wrong that us kids are never well compensated for our efforts. We look into the eyes of adults and smile all day until the camera comes out. I think Photoshop should offer scholarships or, at least a college reimbursement program.
Though, a graham cracker could persuade me to turn a blind eye to this travesty”

“This xylophone comes with a long stick-like thing to bang on the tones, attached with a string.
In the process of shortening this string and making it safe for me to play with, the manufacturer made it too short to be practical so, Dad’s computer mouse will have to do.
The string is much longer.”

"Often times in my early life, I will both amaze and, worry my Dad.

...especially now that I'm tall enough to open doors around the house and, the astonishing ability I posses to make my own choices about what items should be considered appropriate toilet fodder."

"Maybe if I eat the cheese off of this cracker and, give it back to Dad, he'll put some more on it for me"

"For Christmas, I'd like just one big box, WITHOUT wrapping-paper on it...

And, for someone to cut out holes in it to look like windows so, I can play like I have a house of my own.

WAIT, ...you mean there's a toy in the box as well?

I'd like as many boxes as possible, please..."

A Child's Logic

"Hmmmm, I wonder... Dad's cup is red. My cup is blue, orange and, a bit smaller. Might Dad's cup contain something different?
Of course, I have no idea what all of these words mean, I'm only just a little over a year old."