“This morning hasn’t gone quite the way I had expected. Can I get a Mulligan?”
"Dad says, I'm a GREAT KID!
...Was he expecting any less?"
“There seems to be a lot of unrest in the middle-east.
I’ve heard that dog barking next door all morning!”
(At just under two years old, my world is still pretty small yet.)
“I can’t WAIT for Dad to come pick me up from the daycare. This place is a total shambles. …I believe my work is done here.”
“Dad’s SOOOOooo proud, now that I can throw things in the garbage all by myself. He’s ecstatic. I mean, even to the point that he just can‘t stand still. All week he’s been pacing around the house in excitement saying: ‘Where are my keys?’
…what ever THAT means.”
“I don’t think people realize that; while my plate may have exactly the same food on it, Dad’s plate always looks more delicious.”
“Dad’s a little upset with me because I clogged the toilet with golf balls
“He should be PROUD. It was a lot of work slicing them off the shower-curtain to get them in under par.”
“I AM proud son. I just don’t think you understand how that sort of thing could cost Daddy a lot of money. …and another thing, the cat box is NOT a sand-trap.”
“You DO understand that a simple cookie could make all of this go away, RIGHT?”
“ONE MONTH UNTIL SPRING! Maybe Dad will let me play in the mud. If not, I’m hoping he at least lets me throw things at the squirrels.”
“Regrettably, I can never tell until it’s too late which doctor’s appointments will end up with me being STUCK with a needle, for what THEY call a ‘VACCINATION’ It‘s downright CRUELTY if you ask me!
...Is that a TOY???"
“I know what you’re thinking: Did he soil six diapers or, was it only five? To tell the truth, in all the excitement I kind’a forgot myself. So, before you reach for that bag, you’d better ask yourself one question…”
“Right foot, left foot… What is this? The only thing I know is that, they look relatively the same and, are such a bother. Why can‘t I exercise a little variety? Just give me a sandal and, …one of those boots over there.”
"Dad looks like he’s in pain from the last time we went snow-sledding. To be honest, I think he has more fun than I do."
“Hey Dad, Let's play golf... HEY DAD, LET’S PLAY GOLF...
DAAAAAAAD! ......Ok, I'll just play golf with the CAT.”
"Ok, son but, let‘s just run the back-nine today”
"Everybody WAKE UP let’s play, it’s going to be a busy day, we’ve got lots of stuff to get done.
This looks like a good place for a nap."
“I can’t WAIT until I’m old enough to type. Then, I can record my interpretations of what my Dad might really be thinking. Though I know, he’s just a silly adult.”
"OMG! Not another video Dad, Why do you always wait until after I’m done being cute?"
“Dad, why do you insist on taking away and, hiding all the toys I throw down the stairs? I see you‘re wearing your shoes…
I’ve thrown THOSE down the steps QUITE A FEW TIMES.”
"Yes Dad, You can have it. I have no use for it anyway, it wouldn’t fit in my nose."
“It’s hard saying why my family would stop me in my tracks as I’m walking towards the cat, little tykes golf club in hand, raised to the sky…
I’M not even sure what my intentions are at THAT point.”
"Bath time! Remember when I was scared in that big bathtub, Dad?
I think I’m old enough for scuba lessons now."
“Son, you were scared last week”
“WHAT? Are you kidding? What’s so bad about it? It’s all the same for me, I wake up, I play, I eat, I play, I poop, I play, I nap, I wake up, I play. I eat, I play…
EVERY day, is Monday!”
"I can do this, Everybody stand back, give me lots of room. …a little more… a little more… LOOK EVERYBODY....." *Drool*
“I don’t need this hat, I don’t want this hat, I won’t wear this hat!
BRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrr….
Will someone PLEASE help me put on this hat?”
“After a hard morning playing with toys, hiding my sippy-cup from Dad, hunting down and, torturing the cats I like to unwind by pulling all the DVDs off of the shelves then, replacing them with random items.
Oh, and a nap.”
“Please understand, I use that finger to point with because it happens to be the longest one I have. I’m really not old enough to use it in any derogatory fashion what so ever. I‘m using a very untainted form of logic, Dad”
“You TOLD me you wanted the refrigerator door closed, THAT’S WHAT I’M HERE FOR. If you want to put the milk away you’ll have to open the door yourself because YOU SAID NO.”
“Thank you Dad, It’s nice that you whisk the blanket over me no less than three times, until seeing a smile on my face before saying Goodnight and shutting off the light.
I’m pretty sure you won’t be tired of it by the time I’m seven, right?”
